2024-08-31

CW Food/Eating

Let me tell you something about myself: I eat like an idiot.

I savor in my own way. That is to say, I eat or drink the thing constantly so that the taste is always passing over my tongue at all times until it is gone. I have never learned how to slow down. I have no restraint (in this and other things).

I used to be even worse. I only changed recently. In the course of eating things very constantly I would not chew them properly, and one day a green bean making a V shape in my throat and suspending itself there maybe almost made something horrible happen? But from then I now always make sure I have an abundance of water close at hand when I eat, because that was what solved the problem and made something horrible not happen.

In fact I'm quite afraid of eating without water now. It was actually very traumatizing and I should probably talk with my therapist about it, but I think I'm doing all that I can do: chew better and have water nearby. And I have other things to talk about, like Tree Saga, and getting out of the house.

The Weekend/Vaccine Wallop

So far I'm a bit better than I was yesterday in terms of fatigue. My arm is less hurty by far and I'm more awake - didn't need a nap at all. I played Honkai: Star Rail for like 5 hours in an attempt to catch up even a little, but oh my god, I say this often, but, HSR could cut like 50% of its writing and still get its point across loud and clear while still managing to be confusing in several aspects.

I can't really bring myself to do things in FFXIV today though. Dunno why. That's kind of why I played Star Rail for a bit; had nothing to do in FFXIV. Maybe I'm burnt out now.

The alternative to either of those has been reading Clockwork Boys. It's so nice.

The Specialist

I forgot to mention, the specialist I was going to see on 2024-08-29 called and canceled due to a family emergency the day before. So now I have a new appointment at a time slot that's more friendly to me... in October. So I have to deal with this for that much longer. I don't have a lot of hope, though, to be honest. I feel like there's no real solution to this that anyone's figured out and I just have to make do. But that's why I'm seeing a specialist, after all. Surely, certainly they know something I don't.

Gotta have faith I guess,

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